If you’re a girl, most likely you have “The List” or have been told you need to have “The List”. (At least for most of my readership. :) ) If you’re a guy, you most likely know about or have “The List”. If you haven’t heard of it, “The List” is a list that some people encourage girls and guys alike to have. It lists all the qualities that you would like your future spouse to have. However, I — yes, again — got to thinkin’. ;) “The List” displays a lack of trust in God. True, it’s good to remember that you want to marry a Christian, virgin, etc. but to list that you want “a strong leader”, “a guy who likes kids”, “a girl who’s willing to hunt”, “someone who likes punk pop”, etc. is almost pointless, and not to mention self-reliant. The way it’s pointless is that you most likely won’t be interested in someone who doesn’t share the same interests. Obviously, a hunter is not going to hang out with/be interested in a girl who’s huge into PETA. And similarly, a girl who adores kids won’t be interested in/hang out with a guy who couldn’t stand them. It displays self-reliance in the way that we believe we know ourselves and needs and wants better than God Himself does. Does He not number the hairs on our heads? Does He not care for us, sometimes giving us situations we did not wish for, knowing that it will be advantageous to us in the end? So why would we try to override His omniscient knowledge with our trivial lists? Also, as a sidenote, this is all trivial. Does it really matter in the end whether or not someone listens to a certain style of music or watches a certain genre of movies? (Considering the choice of music/movies isn’t evil, of course. :P )
One last thought: A good friend of mine once saw one girl’s “The List” and said that lists like that intimidate him, since he knows he cannot be that man all the time. His attitude was one of “Why bother? I know I’ll never be able to achieve that anyway, so pursuing her would be purposeless.” Even though the girl who wrote the list probably understood that the man she marries will never be that way all the time, she didn’t realize that her standards might scare away some completely potential and worthy young men.
Maybe it’s just a good idea to get rid of lists altogether. Hold certain standards but remain open. Only God knows what is best for you. Why try to plan what only God knows?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Nothing More Than Apathy
“It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears”
Over My Head–The Fray
I’d rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears”
Over My Head–The Fray
Rather than hook with you an exciting introduction, allow me to start this post with a question: How many times have you seen Christians with this attitude? This attitude of total apathy, that someone else will take care of it, because I, I of course, am too busy and have already made my weekly offering to “the church” (which is, in fact, only a building, but that is a different topic, for a different day). The attitude of sadness and irritation over our moral decline, but hey, what can you do about it? All nations fall, right? They hear “Be the change you wish to see in this world”, say “Hey, great concept, really amazing thought”, and do what the next day? Go to work, keep your mouth shut about anything that goes against God, because “I’m not pushy”.
American Christians are in a total state of apathy. The ones that aren’t are called radicals. “Hurrah!” we say, “Good for them! But that life is not for me, oh no, I can’t do that.” What would you say if I said this life was not about you? What really matters at the end of your life? For God to say to you, “Well, congratulation, I’m so proud of you, you never stepped outside your comfort zone”? Or for Him to say to you, “You fell crazily in love with Me and did all you could. You lived for Me, you died for Me. Everything you did was for Me. Well done, My good and faithful servant.”
As a Christian, Christ is within you. Anything you say about yourself, you are saying about Christ. Replace “I” with “Christ” every time you make an excuse. “Christ can’t afford to make that sort of donation to World Vision. Christ doesn’t have the time to go on a missions trip. Christ doesn’t have the interest in traveling to that conference, He’d much rather focus on buying a house.” Would you ever say that about Christ? Would you ever say that Christ didn’t have the patience to work with misbehaving inner-city kids? Would you ever say that Christ didn’t have the optimistic spirit of others and couldn’t help but spread doom-and-gloom everywhere He went?
Perhaps I am a little zealous at this point because of the past few chapters I’ve read in Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Perhaps it is only a stage. But I pray, I pray with my whole heart that it’s not a stage. My life was made by God, for God. If I can’t live for Him, what is the sense in wearing Christ’s name? One cannot call themselves an engineer, then commit 30 minutes a day to being an engineer and spend the rest of the day being a zookeeper. One cannot call themselves a Christian, then commit only 30 minutes a day to being one. In a way, this is a bad example, because being an engineer would not be your identity; however, being a Christian is. Christian is what you are. You are not who you want to be, because in the end, you don’t matter. To borrow a comparison from Crazy Love, you are only an extra. People don’t watch the movie to see you, they watch it to see God, the main character. There are several other characters in the movie, but in the end, what do we really care about? That we were happy? Or that others saw that we loved God with all and every fiber of our being?
I understand that much of this is probably gibberish. They’re only thoughts flowing from my brain to my fingers in an unorganized and quite confusing fashion. It’s likely I’ll sit down soon and convert it into something more structured. But until then, I want you to think about it. Are you apathetic? Or are you in love — and showing it.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A Peek Into My Thought Process
I wrote this just a few moments ago, since I felt the need to write but didn't want to come up with anything particularly philosophical or deep. So I free wrote, beginning with the word "love".
love, joy, hope, purity, charity, shining eyes, beautiful smiles, running feet, laughing voices, little children, long uncombed hair, deep tan, strawberries, sundresses, barefeet, painted toenails, dirty feet, gardening, fresh peas, sweetness, ice cream, summer day, bright sun, sunglasses, chic, shabby chic, shag carpet, sixties, tie-dye, peace, war, guns, death, sorrow, crying, despair, seeking God, finding rest, healing heart, recovering, bliss, chocolate, dark chocolate, chills, rain, dancing, tired feet, sore muscles, Capture the Flag, grass stains, stain stick, laundry, fresh laundry, detergent smell, folding clothes, rough hands, working man, loyal wife, marriage, rings, Lord of the Rings, fireworks, Fourth of July, picnic, hot dogs, mustard, faith, God, Jesus Christ, sacrifice, relationships, friends, secrets, inside jokes, practical jokes, humor, laughing, happiness, happy sighs, tickling, annoyance, glares, ornery, lack of sleep, up late, talking, discussing, opinions, measuring stick, Bible, books, reading, writing, love, joy, hope, purity, charity, shining eyes
And that, my friends, is a glimpse into my thought process. :)
love, joy, hope, purity, charity, shining eyes, beautiful smiles, running feet, laughing voices, little children, long uncombed hair, deep tan, strawberries, sundresses, barefeet, painted toenails, dirty feet, gardening, fresh peas, sweetness, ice cream, summer day, bright sun, sunglasses, chic, shabby chic, shag carpet, sixties, tie-dye, peace, war, guns, death, sorrow, crying, despair, seeking God, finding rest, healing heart, recovering, bliss, chocolate, dark chocolate, chills, rain, dancing, tired feet, sore muscles, Capture the Flag, grass stains, stain stick, laundry, fresh laundry, detergent smell, folding clothes, rough hands, working man, loyal wife, marriage, rings, Lord of the Rings, fireworks, Fourth of July, picnic, hot dogs, mustard, faith, God, Jesus Christ, sacrifice, relationships, friends, secrets, inside jokes, practical jokes, humor, laughing, happiness, happy sighs, tickling, annoyance, glares, ornery, lack of sleep, up late, talking, discussing, opinions, measuring stick, Bible, books, reading, writing, love, joy, hope, purity, charity, shining eyes
And that, my friends, is a glimpse into my thought process. :)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Modern Modesty
Did you know that 96.2% of the participants of The Rebelution's Modesty Surveyi feel that modesty is important for all girls, regardless of height, weight, build, etc.? Did you know that most girls (at least, the ones worth having and listening to) do not appreciate most popular clothing styles for men? Read the Survey, type “modesty for guys” into a search engine, talk to a trusted friend or parent of the opposite sex; you may be surprised. Even having been raised conservatively, many of the answers I have read and received surprised me. The purpose of this paper is not to explore what is modest, rather what is modesty – in clothing choices and behavior.
Update
Yes, I realize I am behind. Pretty soon, I'll be a graduate, and hopefully have more time to devote to writing. I'm working on a summary of our trip to Alabama still. But I had to take time off to write a research paper on modesty, which will appear here in a few minutes. :) And I have a few topics I'd like to write about once I have the time. I've also been pretty busy socializing. :P Next Thursday, my uncle and aunt and cousins are coming to stay with us. Next Friday is my other cousin's wedding. Graduation is next Saturday, followed by a dance. Hopefully, I can take June and use it for lots of stuff, including purging my music, writing a bunch, and cutting sugar out of my diet. We also might go to New Hampshire to visit other cousins. July will likely be busy again. Lots of birthdays and stuff. I'm planning a dance for the month of July.
I'm eager to find what this coming year will bring me. I'm also lost. But I can keep myself busy enough. ;)
I'm eager to find what this coming year will bring me. I'm also lost. But I can keep myself busy enough. ;)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I Shall Fear No Evil
Quietly she slipped through the trees, unnoticed. She left the dark hood over her head, concealing her face, and protecting herself from the harsh wind. Her long skirts dragged in the mud, making it harder than usual to move with speed. Suddenly lightning lit the sky, reflecting in her fearful eyes, and thunder cracked, causing her ears to ring. She covered her mouth as she gasped, trying to keep from screaming. Involuntarily, she started to shiver. Already active butterflies multiplied and added to their antics. She must stay hidden, she must remain undetected, she must not be found. The secrets she carried were too great to be discovered by enemy forces.
Her name was Sarah Nelson. The year, 1776. At 17, she was already doing what she could to support the American side in the Revolutionary War. Despite the risks, this often meant she had to make dangerous treks across enemy territory to deliver notes to the American captains. These notes must never fall into the hands of British captains, nor must she ever be caught traveling across their terrain.
The storm that night made it slightly easier as she did not expect any soldiers or patrolmen to be out in such rain or lightning and thunder. Horses often shied, and men hardly could be expected to stand watch at the risk of being struck and killed. As if confirming her thoughts, the rainfall increased and it began to soak through her normally waterproof cloak. The cold began to seep into her body. Her teeth chattered and she could barely move her fingers. The fear came back in full force as a tree fell just in front of her, victim to the blustering and angry wind.
“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” The words from the familiar psalm ran through her mind. “I shall fear no evil,” she finished aloud. Surprised to hear her own voice above the sounds of rain, blowing leaves, and wind, she felt heartened. The Lord would protect her in this time of peril. Even when injury — or death — seemed imminent, she would trust on Him to guard her from the dangers.
Little did Sarah know, a watchman was out on duty. He sat with his back against a tree, just praying the lightning would not choose this one for its next casualty. He had glimpsed what he thought was a figure moving from tree to tree. When the lightning flashed, the brightness of it had inhibited him from seeing clearly whether or not it was a human form. After his eyes adjusted to the dark again, he could not find the figure again. Telling himself it was just his imagination, he resumed his anxious prayer.
There! There it was again! It was too tall and slender to be a deer. It had to be human.
“Animals aren’t dumb enough to be out in this weather anyway,” he muttered to himself. He watched closely, careful not to lose the shadow. It didn’t move like a man, nor did it seem to be wearing britches. But a woman? Out tonight in this rain? It was beyond his wildest imaginings, so he crept closer. After watching a few more minutes in which the woman seemed to move only a few yards, he decided to stop her. That was his duty, after all. So he positioned himself behind a tree in her path. When she was near him, he stepped from behind it and ordered her to halt.
Startled, Sarah gasped loudly. Her heart pounded nervously in her throat and ears. Eyes searching the soldier's face wildly, she discovered he looked no older than 20, the age of her brother. But she obeyed his voice and halted.
“What is your business here?”
Frantically, Sarah searched for an answer. “I am—” she squeaked. She started over. “I am making my way through to visit my mother. She is giving birth tonight.”
“Where are you coming from?”
“My uncle’s home. I visited this morning to see how my aunt was doing with her new baby. When the rain came, I decided to stay the night. Then word reached me of the arrival of Mother’s baby.”
“Why do you have no chaperone?”
“None could be spared.”
He eyed her suspiciously. The story seemed likely, but he was taught never to trust. But she looked so young and fearful! She could never be trusted as a spy. Trusting in his own judgment, he decided to allow her to pass through.
“All right. May God grant you safety through these woods!” He stepped aside.
Sarah scurried past him, curtsying and thanking him profusely. “My mother will be eternally grateful for your understanding!”
Once she could no longer see him, she fingered the note tucked in the bodice of her dress, not believing she had escaped undetected. The psalm ran through her mind again. Tears ran down her face. She could not even pray, her relief was so great.
The Lord was truly good to her. He truly kept His promises.
Her name was Sarah Nelson. The year, 1776. At 17, she was already doing what she could to support the American side in the Revolutionary War. Despite the risks, this often meant she had to make dangerous treks across enemy territory to deliver notes to the American captains. These notes must never fall into the hands of British captains, nor must she ever be caught traveling across their terrain.
The storm that night made it slightly easier as she did not expect any soldiers or patrolmen to be out in such rain or lightning and thunder. Horses often shied, and men hardly could be expected to stand watch at the risk of being struck and killed. As if confirming her thoughts, the rainfall increased and it began to soak through her normally waterproof cloak. The cold began to seep into her body. Her teeth chattered and she could barely move her fingers. The fear came back in full force as a tree fell just in front of her, victim to the blustering and angry wind.
“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” The words from the familiar psalm ran through her mind. “I shall fear no evil,” she finished aloud. Surprised to hear her own voice above the sounds of rain, blowing leaves, and wind, she felt heartened. The Lord would protect her in this time of peril. Even when injury — or death — seemed imminent, she would trust on Him to guard her from the dangers.
Little did Sarah know, a watchman was out on duty. He sat with his back against a tree, just praying the lightning would not choose this one for its next casualty. He had glimpsed what he thought was a figure moving from tree to tree. When the lightning flashed, the brightness of it had inhibited him from seeing clearly whether or not it was a human form. After his eyes adjusted to the dark again, he could not find the figure again. Telling himself it was just his imagination, he resumed his anxious prayer.
There! There it was again! It was too tall and slender to be a deer. It had to be human.
“Animals aren’t dumb enough to be out in this weather anyway,” he muttered to himself. He watched closely, careful not to lose the shadow. It didn’t move like a man, nor did it seem to be wearing britches. But a woman? Out tonight in this rain? It was beyond his wildest imaginings, so he crept closer. After watching a few more minutes in which the woman seemed to move only a few yards, he decided to stop her. That was his duty, after all. So he positioned himself behind a tree in her path. When she was near him, he stepped from behind it and ordered her to halt.
Startled, Sarah gasped loudly. Her heart pounded nervously in her throat and ears. Eyes searching the soldier's face wildly, she discovered he looked no older than 20, the age of her brother. But she obeyed his voice and halted.
“What is your business here?”
Frantically, Sarah searched for an answer. “I am—” she squeaked. She started over. “I am making my way through to visit my mother. She is giving birth tonight.”
“Where are you coming from?”
“My uncle’s home. I visited this morning to see how my aunt was doing with her new baby. When the rain came, I decided to stay the night. Then word reached me of the arrival of Mother’s baby.”
“Why do you have no chaperone?”
“None could be spared.”
He eyed her suspiciously. The story seemed likely, but he was taught never to trust. But she looked so young and fearful! She could never be trusted as a spy. Trusting in his own judgment, he decided to allow her to pass through.
“All right. May God grant you safety through these woods!” He stepped aside.
Sarah scurried past him, curtsying and thanking him profusely. “My mother will be eternally grateful for your understanding!”
Once she could no longer see him, she fingered the note tucked in the bodice of her dress, not believing she had escaped undetected. The psalm ran through her mind again. Tears ran down her face. She could not even pray, her relief was so great.
The Lord was truly good to her. He truly kept His promises.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
"Taking My Sin, My Cross, My Shame"
Last Thursday, a friend on Facebook posted a video featuring the song "You Are My All In All" sung by Nichole Nordeman and Point of Grace. I watched the video, being slightly familiar with the song, and it brought me to tears. Unlike many other contemporary Christian songs, the lyrics are meaningful, humble, and reverent. My mom's favorite passage is "Taking my sin, my cross, my shame/Rising up again, I bless Your name". Friday morning at breakfast, she told me it meant a lot to her because she could never imagine doing that herself. It takes such an awesome Individual to do that. She also made mention that He was a gentleman. This made me think of something I had read at one point. (If you know where it could have been that I read it, please tell me!) God is the only god of all men to sacrifice His Son for an undeserving people. This alone sets Him far apart from other gods. The fact that He would send His only Son to bear our sins, our crosses, our shames when we have done nothing -- absolutely nothing -- to deserve it is way beyond just interesting, touching, or cool. It is awe-inspiring, humbling, worth crying over.
Perhaps brought on by these reflective thoughts, I have finally heeded God's call. For months now, He has been calling me away from my dependency on the internet. Being stubborn, lazy, and habitual, I have each time told myself and God that I didn't need to cut back, I'd get things done, and it'd all be okay. But it's not. I do need to cut back, I wasn't getting anything done, and it wasn't all okay. Why on earth have I been struggling so much with whether or not I can guard my heart? Because my heart was being called away from God, and it was becoming very vulnerable. It's no one's fault but my own that I did not have the self-control to set limits for myself. But I no longer need be slave to my dependency. "The truth will set you free" indeed. I have finally realized the truth about my addiction and the experience will hopefully be freeing. At the time, it hurts. I am still proud and want to toss my resolve out the window; I want to go back to my old ways. But the only way things will change is if I change. And I believe cutting out much of my internet time will change quite a bit for me. Thanks for putting up with my rant; it's still pretty fresh in my mind and heart and I'm feeling the need to talk it out several times.
Ever growing, ever changing, ever seeking, ever hoping. May we all be drawn closer to Him during this week following the celebration of His resurrection.
Perhaps brought on by these reflective thoughts, I have finally heeded God's call. For months now, He has been calling me away from my dependency on the internet. Being stubborn, lazy, and habitual, I have each time told myself and God that I didn't need to cut back, I'd get things done, and it'd all be okay. But it's not. I do need to cut back, I wasn't getting anything done, and it wasn't all okay. Why on earth have I been struggling so much with whether or not I can guard my heart? Because my heart was being called away from God, and it was becoming very vulnerable. It's no one's fault but my own that I did not have the self-control to set limits for myself. But I no longer need be slave to my dependency. "The truth will set you free" indeed. I have finally realized the truth about my addiction and the experience will hopefully be freeing. At the time, it hurts. I am still proud and want to toss my resolve out the window; I want to go back to my old ways. But the only way things will change is if I change. And I believe cutting out much of my internet time will change quite a bit for me. Thanks for putting up with my rant; it's still pretty fresh in my mind and heart and I'm feeling the need to talk it out several times.
Ever growing, ever changing, ever seeking, ever hoping. May we all be drawn closer to Him during this week following the celebration of His resurrection.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
