Of Friends, Dancing, Sledding, and Skating: Part 1

Friday, February 20, 2009

Butterflies fluttered about my stomach as I woke. It was actually going to happen. All these people I had never met before were coming to my house to spend the weekend here, doing the activities I had planned, and eating the food my mom and I had prepared. Especially nervous about meeting Kim and Mike as they were arriving first, I scurried about my chores, obsessively checking HSA and my IMs. Then came 11 AM. We had to leave to pick them up from the airport. I don't remember much of the drive there. I do remember stopping at Radio Shack to pick up a cable so the microphone would work Saturday evening. The guy at the counter annoyed me, if I recall correctly. He watched Katie and I and he had face piercings. The worst part of picking them (Kim and Mike) up was sitting outside the doors and watching and waiting. I thought I had spotted them and I started shaking. Finally, by the time they came through the doors, I had settled down some. We greeted each other then we went outside. Kim is so cool. I love her accent and she tells interesting stories. Mike is quiet, but fun. Kim wanted to go around the revolving door again, so we let her. :) Then we started toward home, interrupted by a quick visit to Wal-Mart.

When we arrived home, our guests had a house tour, then we ate tacos. After that, we sat around and played Apples to Apples some. Junior Monopoly came next, at which Mike beat us all and Katie lost. :P Before we could actually finish Klaus and Jason pulled in. My first impression was rather the same as Kim's: Klaus is very giant, especially compared to me. Deep voiced, but good hugger. Just a great guy all around. :) Jason is so fun. I love this guy. :) Great dancer. Then came Michael, Bekah, Anna, and Charlyn. Michael straightaway appeared to be very cheerful all the time, which turns out, he was. :) Bekah – ah, Bekah. She's a darling. I love her. She's beautiful, elegant, calming. I could just sit with her for ages and listen to her voice and be in her glow. Anna is fun. Very peppy and happy. Just watching her makes me grin. And Charlyn is a love. The second she stepped in the door, she hugged me and I could tell it had been worth the wait to see her.

Mark and Susan came next. When they pulled up outside the house, I think it was Mike who said, “Mark's here” and someone added, “I can see the beard”, to which my mom replied, “Who? Emilie?” Much laughter ensued. Thus, Mark was greeted with being called a “bearded lady”. After he greeted me, he said, “You look just like you do in your webcam.” I'm so glad to have been properly represented by my lovely webcam. :D Mark seemed to me to be a thinker, and although I didn't think of it until after everyone left, looking rather like how I imagined a dwarf from The Hobbit. :) Susan is lovely and feminine in every sense of the word. Yet she manages to play and have fun and keep up with all the guys. I guess well-rounded is the word I'm looking for. She has an awesome balance of femininity and tomboy-ish-ness. Patriot absolutely loved Mark. Why, I don't know, but he did. :) Then my dear “IRL” friend, Emilie, got here. (She did not have a beard, thank goodness.) Things stayed pretty quiet as we played Apples to Apples. We ate pizza. We used our laptops and some even webcammed with each other. :P Some of the people played Dutch Blitz.

Eventually the Orths arrived. Love, love, love these people. Carrie is so lovely and sunshiny. Jake is hilarious, but knows how to be serious, and pretty much “awesome”. :P Emily is great. Such a sweetheart. As soon as they got here, the noise level shot straight up. :) Then we played Uno, at which Katie had a tendency of winning. And we played Apples to Apples again. Then Mark, Michael, and Jason played instruments and we congregated in the kitchen and dining room to listen and snack. Some of the girls sang. :) 'Twas lovely. I can honestly say I had live music at my party. :P Dutch Blitz ensued, and some of the guys had an interesting discussion about the necessity of college. I sat in on it, and enjoyed listening to the many points each person had to add, as well as the different viewpoints. (It also was a wonderful opportunity for me to practice eye contact. :P) Then after I chatted a little in the chat room, I hit the hay at about 2 AM. Even though I was tired, I was still a little wound-up, so I had a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep.

Much Ado About Muffins

Okay... obviously there's no serious 500-word post this week. I have 12 people staying with me and we're having a blast. =D So, maybe I'll be able to make up for it next week with a conclusion of all our Roundtable discussions. =P

If At First You Don't Succeed...

I've been thinking a lot about persistence lately. I seem to have a pretty good dose of it, despite my lazy and procrastinating nature. But I have been thinking about it very much lately because of a few happenings in my life.

First, I put together a get-together of homeschool alumni through HomeschoolAlumni.org. "Dreamer" describes me well, but I've hardly ever had to actually go through with my dreams yet. So it has taken a lot of persistence on my behalf to help my parents organize it, as well as communicate with my guests. Some days, I'd really like to quit. "False alarm, y'all, I've decided not to have a get-together." Yet, I keep going. Day after day, level after level of excitement and nervousness. It will all come together, we will pull it off.

Secondly, and what feels like most importantly, is my novel. I usually do get mid-novel blues, which is when one feels very disappointed in themselves and the novel as well as discouraged enough to think about quitting. Basically, it's a period in which the author drags his or her feet in finishing it. So, I've got mid-novel blues. On top of that, the trial run for the word processor I was using to write it ran out. I started to switch the document over to OpenOffice, and discovered the page margins and sizes and whatnot are all different. That gives me a totally different page count. I know, I know, I should be going by word count, not page count, but I do things the hard way the first time around. Let me tell you, it's not paying off. But I finally got it close enough to make me happy, and started writing, after I had writer's block. I was feeling good about it and was eager to finish the chapter. However -- dumb me -- I forgot to save the document. While I was reading English Literature (and feeling good about getting caught up there), my laptop restarted because of updates. When it came back to life, I went through the recovery steps to get all my work back and it didn't give it to me. Read that? The recovery system recovered nothing. So I researched the problem to see what I could do to get all my beautiful writing back. Absolutely nothing. OpenOffice had a bug, and I needed to update if I wanted the recovery to work properly. Of course, that doesn't help the stuff I lost, so I updated and restarted today. I haven't had nearly half the success I had yesterday, but all my material will come back and maybe it'll be even better this time around. Unfortunately, I've been having my doubts.

Needless to say, I've perfected my sigh lately. All this keeps me looking to Him, ever constant, always recovering lost material. It's comforting to know that even if I quit, He never will. It also strengthens my resolve to keep going. Might take a little longer than I expected, but I will reach the finish line.

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On January 21, 2009, our rabbit Elizabeth gave birth to six beautiful kits (baby bunnies). I was able to witness the birth of three of them, reminding me yet again how miraculous babies and birth are. Four of them were brown, and two were black. This was the first time we had ever had that ratio of colors.

January 29, 2009: One of the kits found dead underneath the water bottle.

January 31, 2009: One kit found dead under the basement sink, because someone had left the cage door unlatched and the kit crawled out. Another kit found dead between the nesting box and litter box.

February 5, 2009: One kit found dead in the cage. Another kit found dead in the nesting box.

As of 3 PM EST on February 5, 2009, that leaves us with only one surviving kit left. Being a rabbit owner and breeder, I am exasperated. What on earth could be wrong with the kits? Was it something I did? Elizabeth did? Was it just the way the kits were born? Whose fault is it? At this point, there is no clear answer. Chances are, it's a combination of incidents and situations and whatever else.

In other news, I have been extremely lazy, as well as productive. I have been seriously slacking in school. I am currently reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis which could take me about a day to read, but instead it's been almost two weeks and I'm not even halfway through. I haven't even begun to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and I haven't touched Emma in weeks. I need to finish Consumer Mathematics and Science before May. I have about 15-20 books to read by then as well. Hand, meet Forehead. *whack*

But! I did say I was productive. At least that's what I call baking 156 gingersnaps, 197 chocolate chip cookies, 50-something brownies, and making 60 Oreo truffles.

My entire family has had the flu. I have escaped it so far. Chances are, I'll get sick tonight or tomorrow, but at this point I could care less. I've finally come off the sugar-high from last night and I'm feeling slightly irritable, at the moment, although very composed and apathetic. The oddest things are annoying me right now is all.

I got contacts on Friday and have been wearing them every day since. They're pretty spiffy. I like being able to see without glasses. My eyelashes are long and a pain, since if I don't hold them out of the way, they poke my contacts when I'm trying to put them in and flip the contacts or knock them off my finger. Yesterday, this happened and the contact landed on the toilet brush. I cleaned it very thoroughly, needless to say. And yes, I can feel them. Yes, I have put them in inside out and attempted to drive myself to insanity -- more than I already am, that is.

Life is good. The sun rises, the sun sets. I'm not sick with the flu yet. My parents love me, I love my family. And God still reigns. Tomorrow is another day, a day in which I will actually accomplish something. The time for lists is now.

A Feminine Influence

Although I have always been told about the influence women have on men, watching Walk the Line has truly given me a visual and cemented the idea in my mind. The influence the two female main characters (Vivian, his wife, and June, his “co-worker”) had on Johnny Cash is plain to see. Many of Vivian's personality traits were not compatible with Johnny's, therefore causing many problems. June's personality traits however meshed well with his. Despite this, I feel Vivian could have made her marriage more tolerable by simply following her man. Not that she was actively trying to lead him, but she was not willing to follow either. While I watched Walk the Line the second time, I took notes and these were some of the things I noticed.

Vivian displayed a distinct lack of trust in Johnny's abilities. Part of this may have stemmed from her gut instinct to listen to her father who disapproved of the marriage. Not marrying him would probably have been wise anyway as they had dated for only one month, two years before he contacted her again. She also appears to have been a “daddy's girl”, and desired to marry a man like her father. However, Johnny was not her father. While she preferred a financially stable situation, Johnny's dream job did not provide financial stability. When it came to his musical career, Vivian had little appreciation for his talents and abilities. She was not willing to travel with him on tours, therefore causing jealousy when he made friends that were not her friends as well. Her low tolerance for his enthusiasm about a great show sent him seeking someone who could share in his celebration. She disapproved of his fan base. His being away made her bitter toward him. Basically, everyone appreciated him except his wife – whom he sought approval from the most. (She did show appreciation once, after he proved himself to be working hard. Also, her personality was most likely more suited for a man with a consistent job and income.)

On the other hand, June took mishaps in stride, making the best of them. She openly admired his talents and abilities. She took interest in his career, life, and family. She showed concern for him, as well as kindness in giving her book to him. Since she too was in the musical career, she understood the need for tours and how important his band was to him. She was down-to-earth, fun, and adventurous, always willing to try something new. She had the support of her family, giving her a sense of security which allowed her to then support Johnny's endeavors. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26) seems to have been June's motto. She spoke kindly to all, in a manner of meekness.

Although Vivian seems to have been a “bad wife”, I have had a very hard time writing about her in a negative way. I am convinced she could have been a “good wife”, if only she had listened to her father and married someone more suited for her personality, or even just followed Johnny in all he did, showed her appreciation, and simply been his companion. However, these are excellent examples of how a woman can make or break her man.

Since so much emphasis is put on the submission of the wife in Christian circles, often we forget to teach women about their influence. It could be argued that as long as the wife submitted herself to her husband, she won't have to be so careful with her power and part of that may be true. But a woman must also realize her power is also found in approval, appreciation, and sincerity, not just following. A lot of this can be solved by merely being a best friend, the one who does not cover their eyes when wrong is being done, yet always encourages and is 100% behind their best friend¹.

So, forget the dog; be your man's best friend.

Verses to Ponder: Proverbs 17:22, Isaiah 51:3, Proverbs 11:22, Proverbs 11:16, Proverbs 14:1, Ephesians 5:33

(Disclaimer: I feel Walk the Line is best viewed as an awareness movie, for several reasons.)

1Note: I thought a little more about this and thought it best to add that being 100% behind someone, even a spouse, does not mean following them in evildoing. If the husband is participating in wrongful activities, he is clearly stepping outside his role as a Christian husband. Usually during this time, it would be wise to step away from him (different levels for different situations) with the children (if there are any involved).

Questions of the Heart

Who would've guessed that one could give a piece of her heart away to some man she had never met and merely thought was “hot”, implying she had little respect for him. Yet apparently it can happen. I did it.

One day, I mentioned to my friend how good-looking I thought some actors were. She believed I had seriously fallen for them, and hinted that I shouldn't say such things. I replied that I couldn't help it if they were hot. “Hot” is a term I reserve for those I have never met, have little respect for as people, and are extremely good-looking, yet she mentioned that by saying things like that my future husband would only have a tiny, gnawed-on piece of my heart left. Needless to say, this not only seemed illogical to me as I could never give a piece of my heart to someone I've never met, but also peaked my curiosity. Where did this idea of “pieces of the heart” come from?

Through the next year or so, I kept hearing about “pieces of the heart”, usually in direct correlation with “emotional purity”. At first, I found the idea rational, as most ideas are. But the more I read, the more it didn't make sense. Of course it had its valid points, but the logic just wasn't matching up.

Deciding to sort out my thoughts on paper, the idea for this research paper was born. My goal is not to change minds, nor to attack those who follow the emotional purity movement, rather to share what I have found and to inspire others to think for themselves on this subject. It is with much prayer, thought, and discussion with others that I have written this. Unfortunately, not all points may be covered as thoroughly as I would like, but it should suffice for now. I may recant my position on some of this eventually. However, this is my current decision on emotional purity.

Click here to read the full paper.

Thoughts on Do Hard Things

"Most people don't expect you to understand what we're going to tell you in this book. And even if you understand, they don't expect you to care. And even if you care, they don't expect you to do anything about it. And even if you do something about it, they don't expect it to last. We do."

--Back cover of Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris

This is the type of dynamic writing I aspire to. It jumps right out and grabs you by the head and says, "Listen up. Are you going to excel or are you going to meet the world's expectations?" My personality is one to reply, "You can't even begin to make me not do something about it and not have it last." However, one of my many character flaws is procrastination, quickly followed by laziness. Of course I will do something, but it hardly lasts. Even if it does last, I drag my feet and lose enthusiasm.

Do Hard Things has challenged me on many levels, including my spiritual life, my personal goals and aspirations, and my habits. It wasn't extremely profound, it really wasn't. In fact, a lot of it seemed like common sense to me. But the more I read, and the more I thought, the more I realized that it was on paper. Sure, lots of people realize the thoughts presented here. Sure, lots of people want to do something about it. But it wasn't on paper. Once an idea is on paper and is staring me in the face, I feel suddenly like it must be done. There's something about the challenge of a to-do list. True, this book is not meant to be read as a to-do list but it has some of the same qualities for me.

"Well, are you going to do it and scratch it off?"

Makes me want to grab a Sharpie and scribble out things I've done already.

By putting this on paper (yes, I will be printing this), I hope my resolutions will stay strong. I want to be the one that people aren't really noticing but is making a difference anyway. I need to do hard things. Ironic thing is this: Shyness is what I've always been known for, but deep down inside, I want to reach out to people and care for them. Not casual care, like missions or soup kitchen, but a heartfelt sincere care. The kind of care that reaches out when others are too busy and pulls them into a hug and says encouraging and kind words and actually means it. (Now if only I can beat down the sarcastic, impatient smart alec inside me.) If everyone took the time to do so to one person everyday, I firmly believe the world would be a better place. But I am shy to the point of avoiding eye contact even among close friends.

These are the sorts of ideas that are written about in Do Hard Things. Young people who decide that nothing can stop them from doing what they know is right. The world may ridicule, there will be obstacles to overcome, but doing hard things is not for quitters. It requires faith and determination--and lots of it. I only pray that I can maintain this level of faith and determination required.

This is my resolution to do hard things.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." --Mahatma Gandhi